Link to pitch: https://youtu.be/9SYbZICzIvU
Statistics: https://www.crresearch.com/blog/2019-package-theft-statistics-report
I never received feedback as I did not complete the first elevator pitch assignment. However, by reading through the feedback of my classmates, I gathered a few tips:
1) Don’t speed through it. I tried my best to speak slowly and clearly, as I often struggle with this in real life.
2) Give a good hook. By using the statistics at the beginning, I believe I was able to grab my intended audience’s attention for the rest of the pitch.
3) Don’t get caught in the details. I was tempted to talk about the material of the lock box and the way the alarm system would work, but I know that with the time given, I had to get my idea across as concisely as possible.
4) Limit any concerns. I made sure to address the problems of how people can break into the lock box and how people are home more nowadays.
It’s great to see that you made it through the assignment. I am impressed with the video quality and how well you managed to organize your ideas into something that was delivered very concisely. I still haven’t managed to do this well enough myself. I think you exude clarity and confidence when you speak in front of the camera and that is quite rare. For the sake of providing any constructive feedback, I will suggest that perhaps you should leave out the mention “anyone can break into a box,” which you stated around time :45 of your pitch. Though lock boxes are already a thing, they can be improved, and the momentum of your pitch really seemed like it was going towards the direction of progress for this security technology. When you mentioned that you were aware that there are many ways lock boxes can be compromised, it makes the customer wonder about this concern beyond the solutions that you included in your pitch. For example, though I do not have a lock box, my neighbor did, it included similar technology as presented by your pitch, however, one day a thief came by and stole the entire lock box with the contents inside. The problem in this case was that aside from all of the security technology the lock box featured, its design still failed the purpose it was intended for. Though I understand that it was time constraints that prevented you from elaborating further on how your product may prevent this, I think that omitting the statement I just mentioned will prevent listeners/prospective customers from being side tracked into this negative thought process as arguments against the effectiveness of your product.
ReplyDeleteHi Sophia! I really like the tone of your voice throughout the elevator pitch. I also liked the statistics you provided. My only concern would be the price of the box. Maybe people could pick if they want the box or not based on what they are getting delivered. Overall, I think it is a good idea. Good job on your pitch.
ReplyDeleteHey Sophia,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job on this assignment. It was a really good idea to look through the feedback on other posts to gain some more insight. I think you took all of these into consideration well, especially the way you used the statistics as a hook at the beginning. This definitely drew my attention, and I think it would work well for audience members in a real life elevator pitch!
Hi Sophia,
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job with your elevator pitch! You were on topic with the relevance of your idea and the statistics solidified that. Something I really appreciated was that you addressed any potential issues that customers could see before they actually asked about it, which gives me a sense that you put a lot of thought and clarity into your idea. Great job!